5th week

So I'm midway through week 5. Managing pretty well I think, but for some reason today seems harder. I've been feeling pretty hungry-as well as tired. Didn't have a mousse until at least lunchtime, then saved my soup and a bar until teatime. Hubby and son had a takeaway-smelled lovely. I felt so exhausted this afternoon I fell asleep on the sofa. Woke up feeling starving. Daniel decided to eat a packet of marmite crisps-for some reason I have been absolutely craving them lately-that and marmite on toast. I think about food constantly lately.

I've been thinking a lot about how it's going to be when I finish this diet. It scares me to have to think about eating again actually. I've always found it hard to diet before because I can't stand vegetables and salad, that isn't going to change when I've finished this either. How on earth am I going to make good choices? Everything I love to eat is full of carbohydrates. I think I'm going to have to go for the 'everything in moderation' approach or I'm just not going to have any kind of life. I'm going to have to watch my portion control and keep up some form of exercise. I don't want to have to go back to doing this diet again-I don't know if I could ever find myself in that kind of head space again. I see so many people 'returning' to this diet and I don't want to find myself as one of them. It took almost 7 stone extra for me to be that desperate and I couldn't do this all again. I still want to be able to enjoy a roast dinner and my favourite chicken curry-I just have to learn that if I have that one day I can't eat between meals or slob around in a chair all day.

I've been in a really weird mood today too. It sounds strange but I think my emotions have caught up with my body clock. My TOTM was due today-but it came a week early again. I had all the pain of my TOTM then but not the moodiness-it seems like that's come today, when it was meant too. My hormones are all over the place at the moment-so it seems are my emotions.