Monday 7 December 2009

Under goal weight

I'm on my second week of 1200 calories now. This morning I'd lost 1/4lb. I'm tending to think of my weight loss more in 2 week gaps now, because my weight fluctuates so much when I first move up a stage. I finally got my totm-10 days late, and my weight went up by nearly 3lb. It's now come back down, making me 9 stone 4 3/4lbs as of this morning.

I'm beginning to realise that, although I like to see the numbers dropping on the scales, it doesn't make a huge difference if my weight does go up by a few pounds-it doesn't make any difference to my measurements. I'm going to have to get used to the fact that the scales aren't going to show losses for much longer. I just hope that I can maintain successfully and not lose the plot completely.

Thursday 26 November 2009

GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally got to goal on Monday. I'm now on my 2nd week of 1000 and about to move up to 1200 next week.

I actually got to goal a week ago last Sunday, but 1/2lb went back on for weigh in. Then once I was on 1000 the scales yo-yo'd up and down all week. I've actually been enjoying being able to have some pasta, rice and jacket potatoes. My favourite meal so far has to be the wholewheat pasta and quorn, cooked with spinach and a couple of light cheese triangles.

Don't know what I'm going to do for tea next week. I don't like any of the recipes in the Cambridge book. Might see if I can find some diet meals within the calorie allowance. I've got 2 weeks now of 1200 and 2 of 1500. That will take me up to Christmas.

IBS is playing up badly at the moment. Been to the doctor this morning. I'm not even going to think about weighing myself again until I've got over this. The doctor (who was a locum) told me that she thought she was looking at the wrong notes as it said 'BMI over 30'!

Monday 9 November 2009

Aaargh-still not quite there yet.....

Damn! I was really hoping that I would have lost that 2lb by today, but instead I have to be content with 1lb. Not happy. Was wanting to start on 1000 today, but I don't feel like I can yet as I don't know if that 2lb would go in time. I'll have to see how things go this week.

Went shopping yesterday. Needed new ski jacket and salopettes. Got the jacket in a size 12 as I wanted it more roomy for jumpers, etc underneath, but got the salopettes in a size 10. Tried them on over my leggings to make sure there was plenty of room for thermals. Got a jacket and salopettes for me and a jacket for Brian-just over £60. Well happy with that price.

Did loads of walking around Staines so got plenty of exercise. Then came home and did 40 minutes of an exercise dvd-that did include the hard bits! Feeling really bruised and sore today-don't know why. This isn't my muscles feeling sore, it's as if I've been beaten up kind of bruised feeling. Wonder what causes that.

Am I ever going to get to goal? What worries me is that I'll get there and then put on again when I start on 1000. I must stop obsessing so much on what the scales say.

Thursday 5 November 2009

Frustrating!

Lost 2 1/2lb in the end last week-leaving me with just 3lb to go! Was hoping that if I managed to lose at least 2lb this week I would go up to 1000 next week, but do you think I can manage to get anything off at the moment? So far this week I have lost a measly 1/4lb! Think I am slightly constipated (tmi?), so hoping to lose before Monday morning. My CDC is going to be away soon so I need to get 2 weeks worth this time.

The inches are still dropping a bit. Lost another inch from my bust-making it 35 inches now (!) and also under my bust, making it 29 inches. Still need to start exercising so that I can tone up a bit more, but then my trousers might actually be too big again. My size 10's are now starting to get a bit roomy! Hoping and praying that next time I post it will be to say that I am finally at my goal weight!

Friday 30 October 2009

Nearly at the finishing post!

As of today I have just under 5lb left to lose-though I am hoping and praying that a bit more weight comes off before Monday morning.

When I last wrote on here I was right about totm. It came the same day! I am enjoying 810 again, but I am really looking forward to going up to 1000. I really think I'm ready for it. Of course I could go up to it now if I wanted to-but I do want to get to goal on 810 first. I know that as I go up my weight loss will slow down a lot more so I can't risk it when I'm so close. Having much more trouble drinking the water at the moment-could be because I'm on a week's holiday at the moment. It's so much easier when I'm at work to get it down. That said, I am at least managing to get the minimum recommended amount inside me if nothing else.

Tried on some jeans in Next yesterday. Never expected to get into the size 12, though they fitted easily-and were probably just a bit big round the waist. Couldn't quite get into the 10-perhaps it was because they were boyfriend jeans and did up round the tummy and not the waist. Seems like I'm the perfect size 11! Not bad for jeans though-I normally have to wear at least one size bigger in jeans, so for me to be anywhere near to fitting into a pair in a 10 is brilliant. Tried another of Claire's dresses on from Jane Norman. Another size 8 and it fits! I'm loving being able to feel my bones! This feeling has to overcome my cravings-this has to be miles better than how eating a packet of crisps or a bar of chocolate makes me feel.

Wish I could be at my goal in the next 10 days or so, but I bet it will be at least another 3 weigh-ins before I am. I had quite a good week last week, so I never have 3 good weeks in a row. I've only lost 1 1/4lb so far this week. I could do with making it at least 2lb. I'd be happy with that.

Friday 23 October 2009

Feeling gloomy

Feeling a bit fed up right now. Think totm is due any time so that's probably why I'm walking around like I have a big, black cloud over my head. Finally got into the 9's-only for the scales to go up by 1/2lb over the last couple of days and land me back at 10 stone again. I shouldn't be so demoralised by the scales going up-after all I'm still the same size as I was yesterday-but I am. I can't help it. I'm 7lbs away from goal and it might as well be 7 stone again. I just feel like it's taking forever now. I should have been at goal this week if I had good losses, but they've been so shit lately that I'll be lucky to be at goal by December.

It makes me really nervous about eating again. If it's so bad on 810 what on earth is it going to be like at 1000, 1200, 1500? I wanted to be free of this diet for Christmas-I can't follow it on holiday and I didn't want to have to come back to it afterwards. I still don't. I know I'm going to have to up my exercise, but I don't want to be forever exercising just to keep the weight off either. I'm getting scared now. I want to tone up too-hopefully I might lose a few more inches in the right places if I do that. Why can I never be satisfied with how I look? I'm never going to be perfect and I'm never going to love myself. I really thought that I was heading for a better loss this week, but it seems like it's going to be just as bad as the last few weeks have been. I'll show a good loss on my CDC's scales this week anyway, because it's half term and I'm being weighed at 10am rather than after work.

Claire is hopefully going to bring her salopettes for me to try on as my other one's are soooo huge now. I could nearly fit both legs into one of the legs of those! Even my size 12/14 jacket was way too big for me.

Tuesday 20 October 2009

Still not in the 9's yet....

I've been 10 stone something for 7 weeks now and I'm starting to get pretty pissed off with it. I've had 3 bad attacks of IBS, plus totm which has reduced my weight loss considerably. Last month I lost a measly 7lb. This week, for the first time ever, the scales showed a sts. I just want to get into the 9's now and show a 6 stone loss finally. I have just over 7lb to lose now, but I don't have long before Christmas and our holidays to lose it and move up the plans. I'm starting to get cravings again now-don't know if it's because my totm is due again and it's making me hungrier. I'm debating whether to have another frozen tetra just this once and hoping it won't make a difference. I've had a bar this morning and a tetra plus my chicken tonight-but my 3rd pack would have been the chicken and mushroom soup that I used as a 'stuffing'. I don't know what to do-I want to ignore the craving, but I feel hungry. I think I'm better to give in to a craving for a tetra rather than head for the crisps and sweets. If I get to having just a couple of pounds to lose before our holiday I might move up to 1000 cals and do more exercise. I need to be off this and on my own-I can't be affording this for too much longer.

Monday 21 September 2009

Just over a stone to go

Had a much better loss this week-would have been even better if totm hadn't gone and got in the way as usual. 3 1/4lb has taken me to within 6 1/4lb of a healthy BMI and 14 1/4lb of my goal weight. I also exceeded the 30lb target that I set myself to lose before Linda and Neil came over.

I hope it doesn't take too long to get to my healthy BMI-I can't wait to be back on 810 again. Celeriac is also back in season so I should at least get a chance to try it this time. All I need is a couple of good weeks and I'll be there. Then it's just down to getting the last 7lb or so off. Stupid as it might sound, I not only want to get to goal by my scales but also by my CDC's, so that would take me actually nearer to 9 stone because of the difference in our scales. I would secretly love to be 8 stone something but that might be taking it a bit too far. I have to know when to stop!

Sunday 13 September 2009

Nearly there

It's been my 810 week again this week and I must say I've really enjoyed it this time round. On Monday I had Quorn pieces with rocket, watercress and spinach salad. The quorn was lovely-the salad was yuck! Every other day I've had chicken breast, stuffed with spinach and had stuffing made from the chicken and mushroom soup. Only 10lb more to go before I can do it all again!

Never thought I would lose anything at all this week. Apart from it being my 810 week I've also been suffering with my IBS. I've gained most of the week and I was sure I was going to go back over 11 stone again but I didn't. I'm not speaking too soon-I have a habit of gaining again on Monday morning, but I would like to lose at least another 1/4lb instead which would make it at least a 2lb loss. I would be pleased with that after the week I've had. I should have been heading for a good loss next week except now I've discovered my period is due by the end of the week which is going to spoil it yet again. Damn.

My size 12 work trousers have started to feel a bit loose and baggy. Should be in the 10's soon with any luck. My favourite size 14 Next jeans also look baggy and horrible and I can't wear them any more. I fit into everything in my wardrobe now so I'm going to have to aim for Claire's instead! Already fitted into her size 8 cardigan from Primark! When I start going up the plans again I'm going to have to really work on toning up to lose some more inches. I've got 18lbs to go and I'm not quite where I want to be yet.

Tuesday 18 August 2009

I have a dream.....

It's my 25th wedding anniversary next year and I know what I'd really love to do. Unfortunately we also won't have the money for it, so it's likely to just remain a distant dream.

When we got married we didn't have much money. Although I would have loved to have got married in a church, with all the works it just didn't happen. We got married at Woking Registry Office-ok I suppose but the photos were taken in a car park. Might have had trees in the background of the photos, but it doesn't take away the fact that I knew it was the car park. I never had the excitement of trying on loads of dresses in a bridal shop-mine was mail order from the back of a Brides magazine. Our 'reception' was at a local pub and a total disaster, followed by a few people back to my mum's house. Our honeymoon to Cornwall lasted one night exactly-it only lasted that long because we didn't have the petrol to get back home again. I wish I could have my day all over again, but this time how I want it-and have a honeymoon that won't be a total disaster.

What I would totally love to do is to renew our wedding vows, but on a beach in the Caribbean-or somewhere in Australia. That way we'd get the 'honeymoon' at the same time. Sounds stupid, but I think that, with the way a lot of people view marriage these days, 25 years is something to be proud of and to celebrate with a bit more than the usual meal out. What with being on CD we didn't even do that this year. Oh well, I suppose it will just have to remain a distant dream....


Friday 14 August 2009

Not far to go now....

Had another crap loss on Monday-this time only 1 1/2lb. Still, I suppose as long as it's going downwards it's better than nothing. Hoping for a better loss this time-so far it's 2 1/2lb-with a couple of days still to go yet. If it stays as it is today I have just under 27lbs to go until I reach my goal! Obviously I'm hoping that it's a bit more than that-and at least another 3lb next week. I want to be as near as possible to the 10's by the time I go back to work.

On Sunday I will have been on CD for 5 whole months. I just don't know where the time's gone. I can't believe that I found a diet I could stick to without cheating once. I'm so, so glad I did this. Just tried on the few remaining items in my wardrobe that I knew didn't fit me. They still don't but I'm much closer than I was before! Looking forward to buying myself a new dress for the party in October-we're going to go to Kingston to have a look round near the end of September. No point going yet-I could have lost a good few more pounds by then! Just imagine-me going in 'normal' clothes shops to buy things!!

My CDC says that she wants to enter me for Slimmer of the Year still. There is no particular criteria-I just have to be at, or near to my goal by November. I'm so flattered by that. I just can't get over the fact that I have ribs-and hip bones. I have knees that I can feel that aren't covered by a layer of fat. I have collar bones and no back fat-a proper waist. I love this feeling and I never want it to end.....

Thursday 6 August 2009

144 days - 6th August

Thought it was about time I posted a catch up. I lost 2lbs for Monday's WI-totm came on Friday eventually so that was quite good for me really, although it's been rather weird this time round. Really heavy to start but finished within 4 days. Normally I have really painful boobs for up to a couple of weeks beforehand, but this time nothing-they hurt now it's finished, so it's really strange. Also have a bit of a stomach 'ache' today. Feeling quite bloated and horrible. It feels like IBS, though I've never suffered with it on this diet before, and not for a long time before that. So far this week I've only lost 1lb so things aren't really looking that great for this week either. I need to lose another 2lb before I've lost 4 1/2 stone-I feel like I've been saying 'I've lost nearly 4 1/2 stone' forever. It would be really great now to have a couple of good weeks to get me over this and a bit nearer to a 5 stone loss. I know my losses seem quite slow compared to a lot on mini's, but I could never have lost this much on any other diet. I just have to keep reminding myself of that every time I have a slow week!

Went out last night. Can't say I was looking forward to it as it meant I had to sit and watch everybody else eat. In the end it didn't bother me nearly as much as I'd thought it would. I couldn't even have a drink, but I took a bottle of water with me. It was fun.

I've now got 30lbs to go until goal. Then I'll see if I want to lose any more when I get there. I think that I'll be happy with 9 stone 7. Then the real fun begins.

Sunday 26 July 2009

So close I can almost touch it.....

I was thinking today of how far I've come. From weighing almost 16 stone at the start of this journey (more when you consider how much I weighed before the holiday) to the 11 stone something I am currently today. It feels good. I have re-set my goal to 9 1/2 stone from 9, as it seems a more maintainable figure. I'm feeling much better about myself already-not that I want to stay where I am though!

Totm is non-existent at the moment. Should have happened yesterday but is conspicuous by it's absence. Apart from a bad stomach ache on Thursday have had none of the other signs that it's on it's way. No spotting, nothing. Over the last few months I'd got used to the fact that it was 26 days on the dot-now it's thrown me another curve ball and I don't have a clue any more.

Paul is due down in a few days-he has no idea about the diet and wants to meet up. He will have to be sworn to secrecy where Linda and Neil are concerned. I don't want them to find out before I can surprise them in September! Been invited to a party in October. Ordered a dress (in 3 different sizes) but none of them fit. They're going to have to go back unfortunately. The one place it doesn't fit is across the back and I can't guarantee losing inches from my back! Anywhere else maybe-but not there. They're low stock already so I won't be able to get it again in a couple of months time.

If things stay as they are for tomorrow's weigh in I only have 32 1/2lbs left to go! I won't get too excited though-the last couple of weeks the scales have gone UP for Monday morning...ffs...

Sunday 19 July 2009

Hoping against hope that my weight doesn't go up again before WI tomorrow morning, like it did last week. After a slow start to the week I've finally managed to drop 3lbs and am only 3/4lb away from my 4 stone now. Still don't think I will manage that by tomorrow though. I am no longer officially obese now-just overweight. Will be nice that once that 3/4lb has gone I will also be in the 11's!

Tried my jeans on again and managed to do them up! A bit tight, but still! Same with my salopettes. I will have to have some other item of clothing to aim towards now. Not going to buy anything else to wear now-my wardrobe is full of stuff that will get me through the summer holidays. Going to try and walk everywhere over the holidays to tone me up a bit more-also finally ordered the Winsor Pilates. Hoping it won't take the 28 days that it says it could be on the website! If I do get a good weight loss this week it will have to last me. Totm is due to rear it's ugly head again on Friday so it might not be so good for that WI.

Wednesday 15 July 2009

Slow week

Week 18 and things are going slooooow. Just because I don't want them to. Lost 3 1/2lbs at Monday WI, but I wasn't happy because the day before it had been 4 1/4. As it is I've only lost 1/2lb so far this week, so I will still be obese (just) on my birthday tomorrow and won't have lost 4 stone in 4 months. I'll be lucky to get my 4 stone off by next Monday at this rate. Really annoyed to have a slow week this week because it's my totm next week and that will ruin it anyway.

On a better note, tried lots of clothes on at the weekend and I actually fit into quite a few more things. I nearly fit into my salopettes, which I'm amazed about-I was hoping to fit into them at Christmas, I certainly wasn't even nearly expecting to get into them now. I can't do them up yet but it won't be that long. Haven't got a clue what I'm going to wear to work tomorrow. My work trousers are so loose they look terrible. I've only got the one more day but I really don't think that I can wear them. It's mufti day on Friday so I can wear my jeans-then I won't have to worry about more trousers until September.

Time for more photos tomorrow. Also going to take a photo of me in the size 24 jeans that I bought a little while before I started on Cambridge. They were so huge on me when I put them on at the weekend! I nearly fit into my favourite size 14 jeans from Next now. Just a little while before I can do them up yet.

Monday 6 July 2009

Week 17

Not a good weight loss this week-in fact it's the worst I've had since I started. It was totm last week so I wasn't really expecting much-my weight has yo yo'd up and down all week, but it finally dropped to 12st 5 1/2 on Sunday-only to go straight back up to 12st 7 this morning....grrrrr. On any other diet this would have had me heading straight for the crisps, but not this time. I might still be pretty peed off at the little amount I lost, but I'm not going to let it sabotage me. My cdc said that no less than 5 people called her to cancel today because of their rubbish losses this week. I think it must have been the heat and everyone has been retaining water like mad.

I would have thought that all the exercise I got walking back to the car after Take That on Saturday would have made some difference. Who knows-it might catch up with me sometime! I was very good and didn't go off plan at all. I had planned to have some chicken, as the heat had been affecting me and leaving me quite dizzy. Although it was supermarket, pre-packed tikka chicken, it was also low calorie and low salt. There was only 130g of it and I was really quite full. I had a frozen tetra in the morning followed by the chicken and a mousse at lunchtime. I also took a bar for later on when we got to Wembley. Although we had Sapphire tickets, with free drink (and there was a buffet) I didn't touch anything other than a bottle of water, so I was really good. Lets hope I get my reward at next week's WI.

Monday 29 June 2009

Another good week




So for once this week was another good weight loss - 3 3/4lb. TOTM has arrived again today and I now have a rotten stomach ache. It's going to be very hot this week-it seems to be affecting me as I keep going really dizzy and everything goes black, like I'm going to faint. It's either totm that's affecting me as well as the heat or I need to eat something in this weather to help me cope better, though I don't really want to have to do that. Saying that, I am going to have some chicken on Saturday as it will be more of a hectic day and I don't want to faint on the tube!

Going to have to throw away my size 18 pyjama bottoms-they keep falling down and I trip over them! Washed all of the old pairs that I've kept in the drawer and they all fit-all size 12-14. I really would like to order those Winsor Pilates dvd's now so they come before the summer holidays start. I want to start toning up sooner rather than later. The quicker I can start the better I'll look when Linda and Neil come over.

Tuesday 23 June 2009

100 days!

Today is my 100th day of the Cambridge diet. To think that I couldn't picture myself getting past the first few weeks. I'm proud to say that I've been 100% for the whole time. I've managed to ignore the cravings-I do still get them-and I'm really happy I did this.

This week I lost 3 1/4lb, which I was happy with. I'm never lucky to get much more than that. I'm hoping to have a good loss next week too before my totm comes yet again this month. I want to lose as much as possible before Linda and Neil come over in September. I want to give them a REALLY big shock.

Going to see Take That on the 4th July. I'm really looking forward to it. Planning to cook some chicken and take it with me. It's going to be a long day and I don't want to feel faint or sick. I've planned to eat it so I'm fine with it. As of this morning I was 12 st 9 3/4. Can't remember the last time I ever weighed that.

Monday 15 June 2009

Well I did lose something

Not much, but 1 1/2lb off is better than on. At least I'm back on SS now and hopefully will get a good loss next week. I've had 2 crap weeks, for one reason or another, but I've stuck to it and I think I'm about due for my reward.

Friday 12 June 2009

This week is going to be a total washout

So far this week I have lost zilch. I have put on and lost the same 1/4lb a number of times but the scales are stubbornly refusing to move. Looks like I've hit the dreaded plateau. Last week was a crap loss too-so with this week set to look the same I'm not very happy.

Abandoned the vegetables-it was making me miserable. Used my chicken and mushroom soup to make stuffing and a sauce for my chicken, which was absolutely yummy! Going to have that for my dinner on Sunday too, so I feel like I'm having a 'Sunday dinner' for a change. Not really looking forward to the chicken tonight as I've had to marinade it in the dreaded yoghurt-which I'm also not keen on.

Hoping to get some celeriac tonight from Sainsburys. Bet I can't get any. If I do get some I'll probably hate it, but I need to try it. Would be handy if I did like it 'cos it would give me a nicer dinner for the weekend.

The only thing I'll actually miss about my 810 week is having my bar at lunchtime. It's been nice taking that to work. I'm getting a bit worried about hair loss at the moment. It's not that I've noticed it much-not yet anyway, but a number of people on mini's are having problems. Think I might buy some Vitamin B complex and some Vitamin A and start taking it now. It's meant to be good for your hair.

I live in hope of losing something this week, but I won't hold my breath. If I don't lose anything I'd better get something exceptional the week after!

Tuesday 9 June 2009

Not really enjoying my 810 week so far

Unfortunately the list of 'allowed' foods is a bit short on things that I actually like to eat. It's no secret that I absolutely hate all vegetables and salad. I've never liked them-the smell, the taste, the texture-makes me want to gag.

The protein list isn't exactly great either. I like chicken and turkey and also quorn. Except quorn is nice when it's mixed with ragu and spaghetti-it's a bit miserable looking otherwise. I have a milk allowance, which as I don't drink milk, I changed to 0% greek yoghurt. I honestly can't say I'm keen on that either-I don't normally eat yoghurt, but I'm trying to disguise the taste with curry powder. My only other options are cottage cheese (which reminds me of sick) or plain fish.

I made cauliflower mash to have with my chicken yesterday. I had to force it down and I didn't like the taste at all. Today I tried to disguise it by hiding it in my quorn, but I could still taste it. I still actually feel full and sick after having to force all that quorn down. I even put a bit of lettuce with it but it made it taste awful.

I just don't know how I'm going to manage to get any of these veg down. I wanted to try making celeriac chips, but I can't get hold of any. Knowing me I'd hate them anyway. I tried to like the lettuce and I tried to like the cauliflower, I really did-but I'm certainly not going to be forcing them down and I won't be eating them when I've finished this diet. I'm so stuffed from all that quorn that I had to eat tonight that I feel sick and bloated.

People just don't understand about me hating veg. They think that there must be something I like but there isn't. I've always been a fussy eater. If it comes to it I'm just going to have to eat my protein but leave the veg. I just can't make myself feel so sick.

I never thought I'd say this but I can't wait to go back to Sole Source again.

Monday 8 June 2009

40lbs lost

Not much of a weight loss this week. I knew that totm would affect it, but I was hoping not by this much. I only lost 1 1/4lb, but I suppose a loss is a loss. I need to lose 2lb next week to finally be in the 12's and 3 stone down. As it's my 810 week I really hope that I do lose that amount. It feels really weird to finally eat something.

Can't say that what I can eat is great really. Didn't really enjoy my tea all that much. The chicken wasn't bad. As I don't have any way of using up the milk allowance I'm using the 0% Greek yoghurt instead-I marinaded the chicken in it, mixed with curry powder and ground coriander. I cooked some cauliflower in vegetable stock then blended it with another spoonful of yoghurt. I ate it but mash it aint.... I really didn't think it tasted that great. I want to try celeriac chips, but Sainsburys doesn't have any celeriac. I'm probably looking forward to that and won't like them either. I'm really trying to like these veg but it's really hard.

Tomorrow I'm going to have a chocolate tetra at work and a bar for lunch. Then I'll make a mousse when I get home to have for a pudding and cook the quorn and cauliflower a bit later on. I want to try and space it out a bit, to try to keep myself in ketosis if I can.

Saturday 6 June 2009

I was feeling disappointed....

...with my weight loss this week. After the 3/4lb weight gain, which I lost next day, I then gained another 1/2lb, stayed the same then lost 3/4lb again. So now I only have till Monday morning to lose a bit more-and I don't normally lose anything from Sunday to Monday. I was expecting this week to be a washout because of my totm and I wasn't wrong. I just wasn't expecting it to be quite this bad.

I was feeling a bit flat. Concentrating more on what other people manage to lose, even when they cheat and feeling a bit hard done by. Decided to have a shower and go pamper myself. Got distracted by my wardrobe and decided to try on a skirt that I used to wear to work all the time. Only tried it on because I thought it was a size 14 and I wanted to see how near I was to fitting into it. It surprised me when I could get it on-even though I couldn't quite do it up. Not as surprised as I was when I took it off and saw the label said it was a size 12! I then decided to try on another skirt that was a size 16. It fitted perfectly, but it wasn't a 16-it was a 14!

I can hardly be disappointed with my weight loss this week. OK, so it's not going to show on the scales but I am still losing fat. I've lost another 4 inches so far over the past few weeks-my bust has reduced from a 40DD to a 38B so far. Since I've had my hair cut it notices more than ever. I've even noticed people at work glancing in my direction. They wouldn't say anything because otherwise it would be like telling me I was fat and now I'm not-but I know they can see the difference. I love getting compliments-I'm just not used to it-I never get compliments. I've been the 'fat one' for so long.

Tuesday 2 June 2009

Feeling really crap

I feel really rubbish today. Definitely TOTM on the way. Lucky my weight loss was good yesterday because it went back up by 3/4lb this morning. Think I should stay away from the scales this week and just give it up as a bad job. Can't say it will be great over the next couple of weeks as I can't guarantee to lose on my 810 week either. Bleurgh!

Monday 1 June 2009

Week 11 Weigh in

Well didn't lose any more by this morning but didn't gain either, so it was a very respectable 3 3/4lbs. I'm pleased with that. So that's nearly 39lbs off in 11 weeks. My official weigh in was rubbish, just like I thought it would be. It barely registered on the scales. It went from 13st 9.8 last week, to 13st 9.6 this week. Don't know why I'm disappointed because I always take it from my own scales anyway! Think my totm must be closer than I thought-I'm starting to get a bit of a stomach ache again and just feel a bit low. That, plus the extra water weight and wearing my trainers to be weighed didn't help. I don't feel like it's cheating to take my weight by my own scales as I also take bad readings from mine, when my CDC's show a good loss. Besides, first thing in the morning in my undies I am getting what my body weighs-not my clothes and my shoes, plus everything I've either eaten or drunk.

I'm now 3 1/4lb away from 3 stone. Don't know if I'm going to manage that in the next week, what with totm but it would be nice. It would be nice to get it out of the way before my 810 week next week. I'm looking forward to it, but just hope that I manage a loss of at least a couple of pounds.

Sunday 31 May 2009

Please don't let me gain by tomorrow...

After my last post where I said it was coming off really slowly this week I've had a bit of a 'whoosh'. When I weighed myself this morning I'd lost 3 3/4lb! Unfortunately I am also having heavy 'spotting' which means my totm is on it's way and could bugger everything up. All I want is either to stay the same as I am today or to (pretty please) lose that other 1/4lb so that I can say I lost 4lb this week! I know I must be holding onto water somewhere because my waist measured an inch more this morning. If I could lose 4lb I would only have .8lb to lose to meet my Summer Solstice challenge and it would also give me a great start on the June challenge as I put down that I wanted to lose 12lb throughout June! (I always err on the cautious side!) Whatever my scales say, by the time I'm weighed 'officially' tomorrow it will be crapper! But I don't care, 'cos I always go by my own anyway!

Friday 29 May 2009

Looks like it's going to be another slow week.

Don't know why it's coming off so slowly this week. Think perhaps my body has become used to this diet and it needs the change of eating something. That's another week away. Unfortunately the same week I am due my 810 week my period is also due, so it looks like the next 2 weigh-in's are going to be a bit of a washout.

Discovered that I can have 0% Greek Yoghurt instead of milk too. That's good because I don't have any tea or coffee to put milk in and I only have it on cereals, which I can't have on CD. Hopefully I can make a nice sauce for my chicken or quorn to make it more palatable.

I'm trying not to feel to envious of people who have consistently good losses but it's hard. They lose well, despite picking at food-yet I stay 100% and have maybe one fairly good week in 3. I suppose if I was doing any other diet I would have stayed the same or even gained for weeks on end. It's just hard when I know I've still got at least 5 months left on this diet.

Thursday 28 May 2009

Self-sabotage

I honestly don't know what I'm trying to do to myself. This morning, despite knowing I hadn't a hope of fitting into them, I tried on 2 pairs of size 14 trousers. Why? I wanted to see how near I was to fitting into them. Well, nowhere near is the answer, which I knew it would be. I don't know what my size was originally. I wouldn't buy anything larger than the size 18 elasticated waist trousers, apart from my salopettes which were a tight size 20. I am now fitting into size 16 trousers mostly, apart from jeans, but then I never could wear them in the size I was. I do fit into one pair of size 16 stretchy jeans though. Of course that got me thinking of all the weight I still have to lose. 19lbs before I'm even classed as 'overweight' and 4st 5lbs until I reach my target weight. It all seems such a long way to go.

I need to re-focus. Concentrate on how well I've done-not how far I still have to go. Look at the fact I have lost just under 37lbs in 2 1/2 months and the fact that in a few short weeks I will no longer be 'obese'. Also that I am in size 16 trousers, that a few short months ago I couldn't have got past my knees. Perhaps I should make another date in a few weeks time to see how near I am to fitting into those trousers, just not yet. I'm trying to run when I'm still learning how to walk. I'm still in the fast lane, but there's still a minimum amount of time I need for the journey.

Monday 25 May 2009

Week 10 weigh in.

My weigh in this week was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. I lost 3 1/4lb, taking my total loss in 10 weeks to 2 1/2 stone. I'm pretty pleased with that. My waist seems to be shrinking a tiny bit more again-by almost another inch which is pleasing. I have 2 more weeks until my 810 week, I'm hoping that I lose something that week. I've seen more than a few people who haven't lost at all, or even gained that week so I'm not holding out for anything much. I know at least that it isn't fat, just water weight. For now-I'm happy with this week's loss.

Thursday 21 May 2009

Not shifting this week

Well so far this week the scales haven't budged. The 1/4lb that I put on for Monday came off again on Tuesday, but they haven't moved so much as an ounce since. I'm hoping that they're going to move before the end of the week or it's going to be really disappointing. There's no way that my CDC will believe that I haven't cheated at this rate. I'm trying not to care, but my loss last week wasn't great either so I would have expected something halfway decent this week. It worries me that my losses are quite slow. If this is what it's like with 4 stone something still to go, what on earth is it going to be like for me trying to maintain my weight? Perhaps it's the bars that might be slowing things down a bit, but I don't want to stop having them. I don't know how I could cope without them being as I've gone off the shakes. I know sometimes you can have a bad week on the scales but still lose inches, but I haven't even lost any more of those this week either. Please let me see a drop on the scales soon-and a good one......

Monday 18 May 2009

Week 10


So it's the start of week 10 for me this week. My official weigh in was pretty crap at only 1.8lbs, but then I am weighed at 4pm, which I hate. My own scales said just under 3lb, which is annoying really as yesterday it was 3lbs, but this morning I'd mysteriously added 1/4lb. It's a bit of a pain when you know you've been 100%, so there's absolutely nothing you can do to change it. Seems my body is reluctantly giving up the pounds. I'm hoping that my 810 week will give my metabolism a bit of a boost and that I still lose something-not the total opposite.




Took my 2 month photos on Saturday. I have now lost 32lbs and 27 inches. Thought I would put my start, 1 month and 2 month photos all togther so I could see the changes.




Tuesday 12 May 2009

Week 9

Can't believe that I'm in my 9th week already. Only lost 1 1/2lbs this week as it was my totm-but that still makes it 29lb in 8 weeks, so I can't complain. Hoping that the hunger will go away now that my totm is nearly over-it wasn't enough to make me crack and eat something, but it wouldn't go away. My periods are so messed up on this diet, heavier and much more painful too.

One of the really weird things-probably something to do with the ketosis-is the salty taste in my mouth all the time. Sometimes it drives me mad. It's like I've been gargling with salt water! I also have lots of little tiny bruises on my legs. Four more weeks of Sole Source before I have my 810 week-I'm looking forward to that. Hope I still manage to lose some weight in that week-it's probably going to be my totm again by then. Going to set myself another little challenge-to be down to my 'overweight' BMI of 30 by August 1st. That's another 25lb to lose, so that should give me plenty of time. I've allowed for a couple of bad weeks in there. Altogether, taking my weight as of today, I have 4 stone 12 still to lose.

Tuesday 5 May 2009

Week 8

So I didn't manage to hit the magical 2 stone for WI day, but I did this morning-one day later! I am finally in the 13's! I can't remember the last time I was there but it was at least 3-4 years ago! I've got a stomach ache as I've just got my TOTM-5 days early as usual. I'm more on than off lately, but I'm actually too happy to care! In another couple of weeks I'll be taking my 2 month photos-wonder how much difference I'll notice in them! Saw my uncle and my great nephew on Saturday-they were amazed at my weight loss as I haven't seen them for a while. It's really nice when people notice and compliment you. Somebody even tooted their car horn at me the other day-that hasn't happened for a while! I can't wait to be really slim for Lapland in December-a new jacket and salopettes will be needed I hope! I want to go sledging and for long walks in the snow. I'd really like to meet up again with all my Darren mates and amaze them with how slim I am then. Started to use my body brush yesterday-thought I'd give it a go as it's meant to be so good for you. I'll be pampered to the max!

Sunday 3 May 2009

End of Week 7

According to my scales I have 1lb to lose before I've lost the magical 2 stone! But I weigh in tomorrow (on my scales only 'cos my CDC is away) and I don't think I can lose a whole pound in one day. Bugger-I really wanted it to be gone by tomorrow then concentrate on the next one. I will also be in the next stone down too. Woohoo! Already I weigh less than I have done in a number of years-can't exactly remember how long-all I remember is when we went to Levi a couple of years back I didn't weigh less than 14st 10lb. Now I weigh much less than that! My goal weight I haven't been in even longer. I remember being about 10 1/2st when I worked at Self Serve and that was years ago! Soon I will be even less than that. Brian spoke to Linda yesterday, he did remember not to tell her about the diet. I want it to be a complete surprise next time we see them!

I'm going to cross my fingers for the 1lb weight loss by tomorrow. It's not completely impossible.

Friday 24 April 2009

Nearly the end of week 6

I'm hoping it's not going to be another slow week this week but I don't hold out much hope. The scales just don't seem to be shifting. I'm hoping it's not the bars that are slowing things down as I really enjoy them and look forward to having one every night. Not just that-there are certain other benefits to having a bar every day as they seem to help 'get things moving'. Had a bit of a weird stomach ache all week-like it was going to be my TOTM. Actually it feels more like the middle of the month as I sometimes get a bit of a stomach ache then too.

I've stuck to this diet absolutely 100% for all the time I've been on it. I know that I cannot fail to lose weight, but I just wish that the slower weeks would come a bit later on in the diet when I was much nearer to goal. Someone at work today (who has actually lost loads of weight herself with help from a nutritionist) asked me how my diet was going and if I'd lost any weight! Now I thought it was obvious that I've lost 21lb's, but obviously not. It's left me feeling very slightly demoralised and wanting to have a really good couple of weight loss weeks, losing about 5-6lbs for a change like a lot of others do. I want my reward for being so good for all these weeks.

Tuesday 21 April 2009

Week 6

2nd day in and I'm feeling fine-although tired. Wouldn't put that down to the diet though-I went back to work yesterday after a lovely 2 weeks off and I hate having to get up at 6.30am again when I'd got used to having an extra couple of hours in bed.

Weigh in yesterday. Only lost just under 2lb this time-a bit disappointing but then there are going to be weeks like that. I know that I've done everything right-there's nothing I could have done any different. When I look at my weight loss overall it's amazing. 5 weeks and just under 1 1/2 stone-it took over 3 months for me to lose less than that last year and the year before and I had to work bloody hard for that at the gym as well as feeling half starved. It will be nice to get back into the 13's again-hopefully in the next couple of weeks if the losses are good. Time is actually flying by on this diet-after this week I have another 6 weeks on Sole Source and I have to go on 810 for a week. Am actually quite looking forward to it even if I will be living on chicken breasts all week as I don't like fish (without batter!) or cottage cheese or most of the other stuff you're allowed. I like quorn, but that is only when it's mixed with Ragu and accompanied by spaghetti! Don't know whether I'll have it at lunchtime so I've got something to eat at work-or have a bar at work and save the chicken for a hot meal later. Plenty of time to worry about that yet. I'll spend all that time thinking about it and that week will be over in a flash. Then back to another 12 weeks or so on Sole Source until I reach 25 BMI and have to move up again.

I'm really proud of myself actually for sticking to this. So many people have said that there's no way that they could do this diet-I would have probably said the same at one point. You just have to be in the right head space-that's the only secret. If you are then you can cope with anything.

Thursday 16 April 2009

5th week

So I'm midway through week 5. Managing pretty well I think, but for some reason today seems harder. I've been feeling pretty hungry-as well as tired. Didn't have a mousse until at least lunchtime, then saved my soup and a bar until teatime. Hubby and son had a takeaway-smelled lovely. I felt so exhausted this afternoon I fell asleep on the sofa. Woke up feeling starving. Daniel decided to eat a packet of marmite crisps-for some reason I have been absolutely craving them lately-that and marmite on toast. I think about food constantly lately.

I've been thinking a lot about how it's going to be when I finish this diet. It scares me to have to think about eating again actually. I've always found it hard to diet before because I can't stand vegetables and salad, that isn't going to change when I've finished this either. How on earth am I going to make good choices? Everything I love to eat is full of carbohydrates. I think I'm going to have to go for the 'everything in moderation' approach or I'm just not going to have any kind of life. I'm going to have to watch my portion control and keep up some form of exercise. I don't want to have to go back to doing this diet again-I don't know if I could ever find myself in that kind of head space again. I see so many people 'returning' to this diet and I don't want to find myself as one of them. It took almost 7 stone extra for me to be that desperate and I couldn't do this all again. I still want to be able to enjoy a roast dinner and my favourite chicken curry-I just have to learn that if I have that one day I can't eat between meals or slob around in a chair all day.

I've been in a really weird mood today too. It sounds strange but I think my emotions have caught up with my body clock. My TOTM was due today-but it came a week early again. I had all the pain of my TOTM then but not the moodiness-it seems like that's come today, when it was meant too. My hormones are all over the place at the moment-so it seems are my emotions.

Wednesday 8 April 2009

In my 4th week of Cambridge Diet

I honestly never thought that I would be able to say that. Just a few short weeks ago I decided once and for all that I didn't want to be fat any more. Conventional diets just weren't going to be for me-with such a large amount of weight to lose I knew that I would lose motivation soon after losing about a stone and a half. It's happened many times before. I needed to do something though-my life was so miserable. My clothes didn't fit properly-I looked a mess. I had constant heartburn, I was taking anti-inflammatory tablets because I had pains in my feet and my legs. I was having problems walking too far. I honestly felt I had to do something before I crippled myself.

My doctor mentioned Lighter Life to me a couple of times, but I knew that at £60+ per week there was no way I could afford it. However, browsing the forums I saw that someone had mentioned that they were doing the Cambridge diet-it was the same as LL but cheaper and without the group 'counselling' sessions. Straight away I went to their website and discovered that there were a number of counsellors in my area. It still took me a while to contact one, while I debated with myself on whether it was a good idea, whether I could afford it or even stick to it. When I first contacted a counsellor she turned out to be someone I knew from work years ago! We had a great catching up session, but I wanted my CDC to be someone I didn't know-a total stranger. I'm intensely private about my weight and even my close family don't know what it was. I found another one about 10 minutes away from where I live and she was great.

The first week on the diet was tough-no kidding. I was so hungry and the food cravings were horrendous. I spent most of my time on the toilet or trying to keep myself out of the cupboards. Trying to drink at least 2 1/2 litres of water a day when you're barely used to drinking a litre was no mean feat. It's starting to get a bit easier now, but I still spend a lot of time on the loo!
The start of the 3rd week was easier as it meant I could start to have the bars. I was really looking forward to that as I was sick of shakes three times a day.

In the first week I lost just over 7lb. Not bad but it was my TOTM too. Altogether I lost 14 3/4lb in 3 weeks. That's without the inch loss. I'm amazed. I've managed to stick to this 100%. I still have loads to go, but I know that I'll get there. Already my clothes fit better and I'm happier. I haven't taken a single anti-inflammatory tablet since I started and I no longer suffer from heartburn. That's with just over a stone gone. How good will I feel when I've lost it all!