Self-sabotage

I honestly don't know what I'm trying to do to myself. This morning, despite knowing I hadn't a hope of fitting into them, I tried on 2 pairs of size 14 trousers. Why? I wanted to see how near I was to fitting into them. Well, nowhere near is the answer, which I knew it would be. I don't know what my size was originally. I wouldn't buy anything larger than the size 18 elasticated waist trousers, apart from my salopettes which were a tight size 20. I am now fitting into size 16 trousers mostly, apart from jeans, but then I never could wear them in the size I was. I do fit into one pair of size 16 stretchy jeans though. Of course that got me thinking of all the weight I still have to lose. 19lbs before I'm even classed as 'overweight' and 4st 5lbs until I reach my target weight. It all seems such a long way to go.

I need to re-focus. Concentrate on how well I've done-not how far I still have to go. Look at the fact I have lost just under 37lbs in 2 1/2 months and the fact that in a few short weeks I will no longer be 'obese'. Also that I am in size 16 trousers, that a few short months ago I couldn't have got past my knees. Perhaps I should make another date in a few weeks time to see how near I am to fitting into those trousers, just not yet. I'm trying to run when I'm still learning how to walk. I'm still in the fast lane, but there's still a minimum amount of time I need for the journey.